It was like trying to understand why your baby is crying and I simply do what I do in these cases: let he do whatever he wants to do and paying attention. It seems my body do not like the "right-balanced-symmetric" posture at all: it feel like it would be better if the head had turned a bit to the right, and then an other little bit, and then if it bent a little to the side, and so on...
Then the thing took off, always very slow, but the movements were increasingly large and the stretching sometimes rather painful. There were a symmetry in the movements, and a kind of plan: one part of the body following the other, as if someone had created a specific program of exercises for me.
I still did not know what I was doing, and moreover, when I was getting tired of that slowness that required so much attention, and thought I can complete the movement independently with a little more speed, the movement went "wrong" and I was pushed to start again.
This went on for two weeks: eventually my neck, shoulders and my whole body felt "free" for the first time.
How can I know how to do that without knowing what I was doing? I was sometimes scared about what felt like "to be possessed" but I were already at a point were really no rational fear was left in my mind, so I went on with that without trying to control it.
Who knows what it is needed to do if not my "not conscious self" that had done so many things during my life I have no idea how to do consciously? At the same time it felt like he cannot do that by itself: I had to pay attention, and I had "to follow" and do my part. Which is the part in charge? which one is teaching the other? which one is giving directions? which one is following? where the "allowing" ends and the "doing" starts?
Does that matters?
Which is the part in charge? << you have described something quite familiar to me too. There is such an obvious intelligence, such a pre-knowledge of the right movement to do, its hidden aim, the muscle it wants to move, and specially the simmetry of movement, at it right speed...yes, I think I know what you mean. If you allow me, that would be a purer expression of the inner leading being, the natural dweller in all of us, acting at that moments a bit less veiled then usual.Any part of ourself(body,mind..) recognize that " residing knowledge and instinctively adhere to its requirements.
ReplyDeleteBy wondering of it, we demonstrate that it do not emerges from the mind of surface but it has a different origin, which can´t be reproduced satisfactorily unless a total, spontaneous adherence and peraphs fusion with it and its movements is established, in the physical plane as in this case, or in other planes in which we may be less aware of its presence and its workings. The sensing of that force at work, the unswer we give to it, is the object of the integral yoga, and as "all life is yoga", it is the object of life itself. Congratulations for your yogic perception!